"I Am A Lonely Soul..."

NOTE: Since I'm not really active on myspace anymore, and no one is evidently reading my blog there, I decided to move my blog over here. I'm going to post some of my old myspace blogs here, to get things started. I'll start new blog posts after this one.

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Date Originally Posted: April 25, 2007

It's old news by now, but Brad Delp, lead singer of the classic rock band Boston, was found dead in his home on Friday, March 9, 2007. Brad was probably the most underrated vocalist in rock history. He brought class, discipline, and perfection to a world often blasted as messy and irresponsible.

Despite his accomplishments and full life, Brad committed suicide. In his note, he wrote (in French), "I am a lonely soul."

I keep wondering how someone with a wedding in the offing to a loving fiancee, two children, and many adoring fans, could say he was lonely. I know that is a very simplistic way to think...fans are not close friends, and you never know what's going on in someone's mind and heart.

Once, in college, I planned to commit suicide. I started writing my goodbye letters. After a couple hours, somewhere around letter number 17, I realized with a little chuckle that if I had at least 17 people in my life who would care I had died, and who I knew would be sad and want an explanation from me, then what the hell was I killing myself for?!

Of course, my suicidal ideation was borne of teen angst and self-pity, not a serious mental illness. I guess that's why I lucked out and Brad did not.

Of all of the gifts God gave to us, music is the one I treasure most. He could have just given us all angel choirs to lift our souls, but he decided instead to open the world of music to any taste, any mood, any imaginable instrument, any rhythm, and any volume. The deepest parts of my heart and soul are moved just as much by songs like "Dust in the Wind" and "Highway to Hell" as they are by Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.

One of the songs I always loved most, however, was "Don't Look Back" by Boston. On top of the usual amazing guitar work, precision drums, and Brad's gorgeous vocal harmonies, the lyrics shined:

I can see, it took so long to realize

I'm much too strong not to compromise

Now I see what I am is holding me down...

I'll turn it around.

This song helps me celebrate my arrival out from the darkness of my past. Today when I hear it, I am heartbroken that the peace Brad sang about in these words, was lost to him for reasons I'll never understand.

But I know that the joy of the music and the beauty of the voice who gave it to me, will transcend the pain and grief, and stand forever as a monument to Brad, and to the Creator who endowed us all with a gift to share with the world, whatever that gift may be.

Rest in peace, and thank you, Brad.

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http://bandboston.com/html/bd_html.html (Official Boston Website)

http://www.braddelpfoundation.org/ (Memorial Charity Foundation Created by Delp's Family)

A Eulogy for Kevin DuBrow of Quiet Riot

Date Originally Posted: November 25, 2007

Just woke up from the holiday weekend to the news of yet another musician I loved who has died. Kevin DuBrow was the cheerfully crazy smiling face behind the mask of Metal Health, and was the best part of a concert I saw in the 80's, even though Quiet Riot was only the opening act (no offense to the headliner, Loverboy). Just last night I was listening to QR on my iPod and I decided that the song "Metal Health" contains my all-time favorite musical scream (even over Ozzy's in "Crazy Train," a close second).

I'm 38 now. This is my life from now on, isn't it? I'll either learn every few weeks of another legend who has died, or worse, I'll start hearing more and more sacred music from the soundtrack of my life used in pizza or car or toilet paper commercials.

Kevin's bandmates asked people not to speculate on the cause of death, which is probably coming soon, so I won't. It doesn't matter anyway. Whether they go the road of Brad Delp of Boston or Rich Jeni, or whether it is some accident, or some medical problem, it's just another reminder that my time is over and I'm getting old.

Thank God Kevin left us a piece of him to enjoy forever. That's really the only good news to take away from stories like these...the people to really mourn are the ones who never left any news to report, be it to MTV, CNN, or just to their families and friends. I think the best way to honor Kevin DuBrow and the other artists who have broken my heart this year, is to think about what I will leave behind for others to enjoy, and get busy.

Rest in peace, dude.